“We love what we attend” – Reverend Mwalimu Imara
To jump start my dating life, I hired a personal match maker. My first date was lunch at a restaurant down the street from where I lived. It was a last-minute invitation that left me with no more than a couple of hours to prepare. My girlfriend, who we will call Carol for anonymity’s sake, happened to call right after I accepted the invitation and I told her about it. She was so excited she asked if she could come over to help me pick out what I was going to wear. I had already selected a simple black dress, no frills, nothing too revealing, just a classic simple look. I knew however, that she wanted to get me out of my comfort zone and get me into something a little more exciting. I was grateful for her offer and being the kind friend she is, she dropped everything in her work day to come join me. We spent an hour going through my closet, trying on various outfits until I finally I settled on the original black dress. Defeated she said, “I knew that’s what you’d go for!” But then she laughed and conceded, “But you have to feel comfortable and you look great!”
I went to my date, enjoyed my time and then on my way out of the restaurant, noticed a text from a mutual friend. It said, “Carol’s son needs surgery. You should probably call her.” We had all known that this was a possibility, but we weren’t sure when the results of his testing would come back, and no one knew for sure how serious it would be. As it turns out, Carol had learned that morning of her son’s condition and she was a mess, rightfully so but I didn’t know a thing about that while she was at my house, pairing shoes with outfits. Of course, as I learned of this I called her. When I asked her about her son she started to sob a little and we talked through her feelings and the situation that lie ahead for everyone. I asked her, “Carol, why didn’t you tell me while you were here today. I feel awful that I was going on about what to wear and my date when you were dealing with something so serious.” She said, “Angela, this date is a big deal for you. I wasn’t about me, it was about you right then.”
I’m sure picking out clothing and talking boys like were in high school again was a soothing substitute for dealing with a family crisis, but it still rocked me to my core that Carol put my needs first. My relatively insignificant needs. It left me grateful. More than that, amazed in the way the word is truly meant to be used. Amazed that another human being could be so attentive to another in the midst of their own pain. It reminded me of how powerful self-lessness can be.
What do you attend to?